John Entwistle
Good evening. Tonights expose at serious documentary concerns the death of J.E., hellraiser and bass guitarist for the Who.

Our investigative reporters for The Camelot News at Ten have just returned from a midnight clandestine meeting with an anonymous source known as deep nose. This source was selling a secret video that was taped in the hotel room of J.E., in Las Vegas on the night of his death. We are confident that this new piece of evidence can shed some light on the mysterious circumstances surrounding the rock dinosaurs sad demise.

For copyright reasons and to indemnify ourselves from lawsuits, civil courts and hitmen we are only able to paraphrase from the text and video source vicariously and in the third person.

We know from the evidence as well that we can benefit commercially as well. Not being stupid we are always ready and willing to profit from others mistakes. We have therefore decided to invest in and go forward with a new kind of mobile phone. This revolutionary product is like any other mobile phone with one exception. It has a retractable razor blade for chopping and cutting your favourite rocks from Colombia on any surface. With Wilkenson steel it is guaranteed to never need sharpening.

Other obvious advantages are apparant at once. If you ever find yourself in the position of using prescription drugs for a heart condition and feel the need to sample some of the illegal substances in America; and let me assure you they are of the finest quality and therefore should be used with exteme caution, if you find your self suddenly on the receiving end of a heart attack-a trusted mobile phone will always be at your side.

We know that after the first line, John realised he was beginning to convulse; and tried in vain to get to his hotel telephone. This is sad because the respone time for emergency services in Las Vegas is good due to the incredible volume of geriatric punters in the city. As John tried to make it to the phone he realised one thing that is universal for a man in his condition. Thus: It is impossible to move in the midst of a coronary. We have it on good source from our tape that three words were spoken and three words only. "I Fucked Up" Swan song bass solo complete.

Thank you for joining us this week and be sure to tune in next week for another exciting story from "Danger is my business." Good night.

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