And now....The Novel by abdulfez.

Chapter One: Energy is Organic Substance Re-Abuse

The following is an interview with the imminent scientist Dr. Ralph G. Loadstein, PhD.

Energy is Organic. Organic energy is the fuel. Through the fuel we have the power. The power. The By-Product. The precious by-product. We combine the two and harness the connection: To life and the inevitable $$money machine. Won't you join the reprocessing dream?

The system and you need no food-for survival. For feeding. Forage on by-product 24 hours a day or as much as you can consume. An analogy goes something like this: Futility in life is like trying to make shit smell good. You can spray it with all the perfume and fungicide you can find, but it still smells (and will look) like shit. Trust me, I am a scientist.

52 times a year your constitution needs nourishment. I am an expert in the field-all fields of by-product reproduction and use. In fact I own fields full.

Chemical analysis as shown us that chlorine is G.O.D. I mean good. Without this wonderful catheter, we are lost, and would perish. Our world would be infected with the nightmare of roaches and fleas, not to mention blackbirds. They would rule. Bummer. We own the copyrights and gentic code to this wonderful marvel, and are willing to make it available to you on the net, Free of charge of course, (not including royalty payments and lawyers fees.)

All patents to research springboards to domination of the market (what more could a man want!). Harnessing the magic by-product and step to money, power, fame, glory and alien intelligence. This alien intelligence is eager to take over as we all understand. You can contribute by hurrying up evolution and stumbling onward, towards the precipice and the total annihilation of this greedy globe.

Yes Doctor, thanks for that, but what can science do to save the day?

I am glad you asked that Mr. Dimbleby. You see, no more tune in, no more drop out, anymore. CHLORINE WILL SAVE US! Well indirectly that is. Chlorine: The chief ingrediant to our laboratory empire. The lynchpin to our success, and yours sir. Chlorine compounds' clean and alter chemicals and bio diversity. It is the real, real thing. Just like coke. Ask the boys in the Cali Cartel. It's Coke Capitol. That spells Capital, and that spells relief, if you can spell amiga. Let me explain further because time is short. We have for the first time in human history the capacity to change the whole of the bioshpere and alter the magnetic fields of the earth. This will in turn shift the magnetic poles creating a wobble effect. In tun this will create a flattening at the equator and more mass there, thru excess water. The excess energy well buildup through the mantle core of the planet and blow the plates right off the exterior of the earth.

Am I making my self understood?

Yes sir.

We are all floating on plates. Got it?! Maybe you need an earthquake to convince you?

No, am with you sir.

Good. Let us continue.

Our world. One world. And a world where chlorine is the drug (well you need a bit more processing), one world at one with the chlorine, by-product bio-sphere. Say goodby to the OZONE-it will fly away. Yet we are doing our utmost to see to just that. Conversion is the ticket. Total control of the magic by~product through intellectual property rights is THE God given right of every man, women and child on this planet, trust me.

Thank you Dr. for your time. Now back to our story about a lucky man who works to get lazier...

Chapter 2: Majestic Asia. The heat and the heart.

China. Yes China. Eat your food, they are starving in China. Let's send food. And money. Truck loads if you can. Boatloads. Money to flow 24 hours seven days of to Sunday.

And when the nice caring, sharing folks in North Korea get their bomb perfected; a shining example of all those nice caring, avowed Islamic clerics in the employ of military dictatorship Pakistan; let's also speed up the flow of cash there as well since our much loved General, friend of Bin Laden, Taliban backer par excellence helps the interested follow the precious bombmaking technology on the yellowbrick road ...The moral? Fireworks fry, like like like-let your imagination work dear reader. Those jet puffed Marshmellows by Kraft come to mind. The ones that are coconut coated and brown.

Be sure you hum a few bars of "Thanks, For The Memories" in 4/4 time. Q-music please. Thanks. We apologise for content and understand it's unlike anything in the morning news. Let's for a moment go to...the known Universe.

Politics=Fear. Fear is Politics.

Black gold said Uncle Jed. Texas T. Blackgold and Greenbacks. The currency of my (yours?), Nuclear Nighmares. Ask the Puppets. They will tell--a dangling from their strings. Sweaty stubby fingers on nuclear triggers. Nuclear stand-off and a Nightmare 'Cometh. The button pusher's power, prestige in the nuclear realm. The world stage. Lights, camera and action. Some pointy nose should buy the script since they ran out of ideas. Fame follows gold, 15 seconds of fame. Ignominy scripted by 50 million radiated souls on an Asian sub-continent; doomed to fulfil humanities atomic destiny. Hell and gunpowder were invented here, (back to the beginning of our story I'm afraid.) A sort of distorted fireworks fun display to a final polluted wasted continent in the throes of total contamination. Note: Unless you bought some of those thyroid pills.

Witness it if you will Said Rod, no choice but to propel onwards to darker regions. Pretty. Ugly can be nice too. The end for the self serving bi-pedal mind whinging its way through a flatulated history of near animal like porportions, (should I say monkey like); hairy exsistence-caked over in dark intentions, glorious service to Gold Cards; clutching at the spoils of Oil, Private Swiss Banking and war. Tomorrow never comes, and yet it's here.

Recommended viewing: "The Body Snatchers" starring Kevin McCarthy. Circa 1956. Not to be confused with crap modern Hollywood re-makes. Slow up pleasure down. It's all down there. Goodnight.

Next week we will discuss Cuba's secret Hydrogen Bomb Plan.

Back >>